To Be or Not To Be?
All this thinking about weddings made me start to think about after the wedding…and the inevitable decision that must be made: to keep or change the last name. Honestly, I’ve been trying to convince Mike that Anderson is a much more forgiving last name than the mouthful of his. I still can’t really pronounce it correctly all the time! At least they both start with A.
I recently came across two article that bring up some interesting points:
1) From Oprah.com via CNN.com, this article’s author rants a bit about how few women actually decide to keep their name after marriage…It lists a statistic at 80%!! I must admit, this seems quite high to me. Although, even going to a liberal, all-women’s college, many of my fellow alums have changed their names. I guess it seems easier to go along with it. Not that I am judging, but I think it has to do more with children. The next question would be, who do the kids get named after?
2) This article is a bit older, from USAToday.com in March ‘07, but it also brings up some great points to consider. As my research on my family tree clearly notes, last names do sometimes pass from the mother– for instance, in Iceland, the daughter of Clara would be Clarasdottir (yes, I completely made that name up!). But my point is that this whole naming thing is truly a cultural phenomenon. The larger issue that this piece brings to light is how biased the legal system is, with women being able to seamlessly switch, but men having to go through a laborious name-change process.
I guess in the end the debate continues. But I think one should do what is best for oneself!
Gail,
Here is story to make you feel better….Before Anne and I were married, we didn’t really discuss whether or not she would change her name. A week or so after our wedding she asked me my opinion on the matter. I (what I thought was facetiously) told her that I would be very offended if she didn’t take my last name. I absolutely didn’t care either way and just kind of assumed that she’d be “Greco-Petersen.” The next day she came home from work and told me that she had legally changed her name to Petersen…because of how strongly I felt about it. Oops. I felt pretty bad about the whole thing, but it all worked out because she’s now a Petersen
..Good luck with your decision!
Ha Ha! That’s funny Chris! I hope Anne wasn’t too mad at you! It certainly seems like it is easier to share the same last name…
I’ve actually suggested to Mike that we could make something new, maybe combine them in some way.
After doing all the family tree research, the last name doesn’t seem so important anyhow, because it may change after a few generations anyway!
Thanks for sharing your story!
Gail
Well, Gladys and I were originally going to *both* change our names to Springborn-Brannigan. We told everyone about it, we started using it unofficially, and she even had business cards printed with the hyphenated name! In the end, it was such a mouthful, we decided against it – so she’s Gladys Springborn and I’m James Brannigan, and all is right with the world. Simone’s legal last name is Brannigan, but she has Springborn as a second middle name. So it’s really about what works for both of you, of course – just realize that, even if you don’t take Mike’s name, you’ll still get ‘Gail Arkhangelsky’ a lot! Or the one that really gets me – ‘Mr. and Mrs. [husband's name]‘! Some of my mom’s older friends are fond of this. What – is it 1952 again?
Congratulations again to both of you!!
-Jim
Thanks for your comment Jim!
I agree–you really have to decide what works for you and go with it. And like I mentioned, looking at the family tree really gives you some perspective since it contains so many different last names!!